Nowadays more than ever I’ve been taking time off alone to think about things. What I want to do, what God’s will for me may be. How certain priorities need to be rearranged.
I am still so lost.
I’ve written about being lost before, in some post hidden in the recesses of this blog. But I think I’ve come to embrace the fact that not everyone knows what they want to do when they’re 24. And I’ve been telling myself that it’s okay.
There are so many questions – is the goal to make money? Am I supposed to find a job that I love doing, or grow to love a job?
I’ve spoken to so many adults and sadly I’ve been told that I have a problem if I don’t know what I want to do at this point of my life.
I’ve been told to settle for what I know, what I do well; and then they say, you’re still young. you have to go through this shit before you’re in a decision making position. Which is true. Does that mean that I have to be frustrated all the time till then?
I want it all… I want to do something meaningful, yet be able sustain myself; to have a job that i can grow in, where there are many things to learn, where i can be inspired. on the other hand, i want to focus on art, on teaching, on dance, on my family and relationships that matter.
Someone once told me that it’s possible to do everything, but I’ve learnt that it really isn’t. There are only 24hrs in a day and even if you don’t sleep certain things are going to be neglected.
So yes. Reality has struck. I’m going to take the first half of 2013 to explore all my interests in life and hopefully find something or someone that inspires me enough to build a career around.
If I can’t find that one thing, I’ll settle for the next best. By June 2013. (here I am making a pact to myself.)
Things have happened that have made me realize that you could sell your soul to a company and earn all the money that you want – but money will never mend a conscience or a broken heart or a broken relationship that was lost along the way.
I’ll be freelancing. So if you’re looking for a writer, dancer, illustrator, content strategist, an art and crafts teacher or an extra pair of hands in marketing, advertising, PR let me know. Oh. I would love to travel.
I told you, I have too many interests.
This post is unorganized and all over the place. I guess it really reflects my state of mind right now.
But trust me, if it’s my job to do something, I make sure I do it well.